Auntie's Babe

I retread "my heart was stolen and I don't want it back", and I was reminded that there is a man out there that has his work cut out for him. Hannah Parker Ray still has all of my heart!!! There is no child as amazing as my niece. She is the most amazing kid, so full of life and happiness. And wet kisses, always sloppy wet kisses!!! Here are a few of my favorite pics of her along the way:

Dehydration of the Soul

When the body is dehydrated, lacking water and nutrients needed to survive, something triggers in the brain to let the body know that it needs replenishing. Suddenly you have a great thirst that you need to quench. You try everything from water to Gatorade in hopes to quench the desire to rehydrate. If you're in tune with your body, you might need some water to replenish what has been lost, but if you fight and ignore the signals of dehydration the body will develop an extreme thirst, tiredness and loss of ability to function normally. The same goes for our spirit.
No matter your rank in your walk with God, no one is exempt from dehydration of the soul. I have been raised in church my entire life, and I have made detours every now and then and found my way back, but my biggest mistake yet is that I have abandoned the desire to refresh my soul.
Recently I have seen behavior that is "unPentecostal-like". I use that term in the same way that society uses "ladylike". There is a general understanding of what that means and we know how to adjust accordingly. As a female, when I spit or burp, I am being "unladylike", therefore when I stop those behaviors I am now acting like a lady. I see it the same way with being Pentecostal. Within the UPC circuit there is an acceptable way to and not to act because we have a common goal that we are trying to reach: to show the love, mercy and the hope of Christ.
My dehydration is strictly my own fault. I had a Pastor, a leader that I have so much respect for, say that it is not the only the preacher's responsibility to feed me, but that I must be mature enough to feed myself through prayer and the Word. When I become distraught and my leader is not able to help me, I must be strong enough to withstand the storm, but how can I resist the world if my soul lacks the ability to function without the hydrating downpour of the Holy Ghost?
I have allowed my soul to become calloused and dry because of a few people's decisions to have a lack of leadership and display disrespect in the House of God. Where there is no room for a lack of leadership, spiritual guidance and disrespect, there is also no room for a dry, lifeless soul. It is my responsibility to take care of me. I must find the water to to nourish my soul, to replenish what I have lost. I sincerely hope that God is put back into leadership, but I cannot allow someone else's behavior to lead me to the dry depths of despair. My soul cries out for rain, the down pouring of the Spirit.
It is never wise to continue running when you are thirsty. Listen to your soul, God gave us desire to know when we need replenishing. Listen, follow and obey the signals of dehydration and extreme weakness and functionality will not be the concern at hand, but the continuous work of God and outreach to the world who has never felt the sweet refreshing love of Jesus.

Soap box

Ok, give me just a moment to drag my soap box out. So, now that I'm on it, when did we decide that giving it our all became less and less of a priority? I know that life is demanding, I live every day minute by minute just as the rest of society, but when did it become socially acceptable to become complacent? If there is something that I really want to do, I find time, but when it becomes inconvenient for me or a little too demanding, I just don't have the time. I can, and have used the excuse, "I just don't have time, " or "so-and-so is too busy, we can't..." When do we stand up and finally say enough is enough?! Baseball can wait, hunting doesn't matter, shopping will be there tomorrow, relationships, if worth keeping, will hold for a few minutes. We have this "here and now" mentality. I want it, so give it now. When I played the clarinet, I had to work for what wanted. When I put practice off I sounded just that, off. Ok, so I sounded BAD when I didn't practice, but one day I learned that if I put some effort and passion into what I wanted, it paid off. When I was in the 8th grade I was competing for a solo part. I wanted that part so badly I could taste it. I practiced and practiced and eventually my hard work paid off and I was playing a beautiful solo piece in the top band at the Bass Hall. I don't know if you know anything about the Bass Hall, but for a kid of 12, that was a huge accomplishment. If we want to succeed at anything, we must be willing to put time aside consistently to achieve our goals. There are no excuses for failure, and failure is only achieved when you refused work at something to prefect it.

Many kinds of love

     I love to laugh more than anything in the world! There's no greater feeling in world than the rush of dopamine surging through your brain sending signals to your entire body to be happy. Although the bible refers to laughter in a generally scornful manner, there is a small section that speaks about a season for everything and my favorite verse says that there is, "a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance" (Ecclesiastes 3:4). It's not a thought provoking scripture, but it gets right down to the point. Life becomes so murky that we don't make time to feel. All four of these verbs are so emotionally rich that if not taken care of can destroy us.
   How many times have you felt like a good cry would make everything better? Or when that stupid happy dance allows us to express that spark of excitement. And while mourning is typically a consequence of loss, is a way to remember; whether you make it a sorrowful mourn or an enlightening one, that is up to you, but from personal experience, laughter is always the constant in all of those. When we cry those that love us say something so stifle the tears. I have a habit of saying the wrong things that makes any situation awkward, ensuring laughter because no one knows what to think at that point. Do I feel like an idiot? More than you would think, but laughter is where my heart lies and however I have to get there, so-be-it.
     The thing I love most, after laughter, is my niece, Hannah! I only put laughter in the forefront because to know Hannah is to know laughter. She is the funniest kid, ever. Only at 17 months old, the kid has a natural ability to take an audience captive and make them laugh. I adore everything about her.  She encompasses everything thing that both Jen and Ryan possess. Now, if only I can find a way of stealing her. Is it weird to say that I want to be like her when I grow up? She lights up any room she walks in to, from her beautiful smile to her wonderful laugh, to her glowing blue eyes. There is such a kindred heart in her that as she grows older I can only hope becomes a beacon of happiness to others. God has great plans for her, I can feel it in my bones.
     My third and final love is singing and music. When I am laid to rest I hope the one thing people remember about me is that I love to sing. I can't carry a tune, nor do I have a pretty voice, but when it comes to giving God my all, singing is what I
do best. I have heard, and I, too, believe this, to an extent, that church shouldn't rely on music. Music is not what makes a church service great, but I do believe that music ushers in the presence of God. The bible references the use of music, therefore I don't believe in giving God my little, I want to give Him my all. What I love most about music is the passion and dedication involved. You don't expect for music to just happen, you have to work at it. Practice, practice and practice some more even when you think it's great.
   

My heart was stolen and I DON'T want it back!

     I'm feeling a little uncharacteristically blue today so I thought I'd {try to} write something more on the light-hearted side.

     This is the story about how my heart was stolen. As many people know, for a while now I have claimed that I am not terribly interested in marriage {not for a while anyway}, nor does the sound of little feet interest me. In fact, the thought of those individually scare me to death, and the thought of them together- oh, no! That's just terrifying! I would make an acceptable mother {depending on the day}, and a fantastic wife, but Lord knows I am not ready to give up my freedom, yet!!!

     Once upon a time a boy and a girl got married. They were good together. They balanced one another and made each other whole. {Oh, look how sweet...}

 

They sealed the deal with a kiss,

 

 

  and life began from here!

 

Now, not too far into their marital bliss a miraculous event took place and Jen went form this:

 

 

to this:

 

 

to this

 

!!!

 

For nine long months Jen baked a baby. She grew and she grew, but she wasn't sure what kind of baby she was making. Jen and Ryan, being the meanies they are decided not to find out if they would be having a he or a she. I had my bets placed on either an alien, or twins {Thinking of it now, I should have placed money on an alien!}.

 

 On April 18, 2012, I woke up and knew that Jen would be having the baby soon. My Dad called the night before and said Jen would be going into the hospital but it didn't look like she would have IT until later the next day. I went to bed so EXCITED!!!I knew my car needed an oil change and my apartment needed to be cleaned, so I took my sweet time and cleaned the place. I, too, was covered in dust, so I took a shower and finished dressing when I received a call around noon. "Hey, Jen's at a 2, don't get in a hurry, it'll be a while."

So, in my lack of haste I finished packing my clothes, and ventured to Wal-Mart (I should have know it would take forever). After 10 minutes of being there I get a call saying, "Well, she's progressed a little faster than expected get here when you can, we just want you to be aware." OK, not a big deal. I can get there fairly quick.I should say, if I had my way I could get their fairly quick, but I was on Wal-Mart time. Apparently it needed to take an hour and a half to get in and out of there. It is now two-o'clock in the afternoon and I have yet to leave Wichita Falls, Texas. It's a two-hour drive to Rhome, a three-hour drive to Fort Worth, with some traffic.

 

At this point, I'm running with recklessness to get anywhere. I/m outside of Jolly and Dad calls to say, "Jen is at a 5, you need to hurry up". Recklessness has just become some sort of power boost and I suddenly become invincible. I'm aware of my speed, at which I'm going somewhere around 72-77 mph, and we'll leave it at that. The speed limit is 70 and just as I approach Bellevue, Sir Cops-A-Lot decides he was going to do his job. A state trooper thought I was going above the desired speed and asks for my license and insurance. I know I have my license and I look for my insurance and low and behold I needed an updated card. At this point I'm frazzled and scared and he asks what the problem is. I tell him that my sister has just been admitted to the hospital and I needed to get to Ft. Worth as fast as I could. So he preceded to ask where is she at and what is her name.

I then tell him, "she's at Harris hospital and her name is Jennifer Parker".

 He leaves and then it hits me, no she's not and that's not her name! She was at the neighboring hospital and her name is now Jennifer Ray. I'm panicking!

"Well, ma'am, you're in luck because I suddenly have no tower here and I can't call out. I normally call the hospital and just check to verify your situation but I couldn't today. Slow down and be careful. I hope your sister and the baby are fine, we don't need both of you in the hospital."

WHEW! I slid past that one. Thank you Jesus! At that point I set my speedometer at 70 and decide if that baby is born before I get there, that's fine!

Six o'clock comes around and I pull into the parking garage. I race to Labor and Delivery just to find out that she's still at a 5! OK, no big deal. I was there for a couple of hours and things finally happen, we have a BABY!!! We hear crying, from all involved, but have not heard if i was to be an aunt or an uncle.

 

As we were waiting this is what ws going on outside of the delivery:

 

 

Finally we hear laughter. Ryan came out of the delivery room:

 

 

and informed us we had a baby GIRL!!!

 

 

HANNAH PARKER RAY

 

I was given the best gift in the world, and her name was Hannah Parker Ray. I'm glad she was a girl because I would have made a terrible uncle. This is the first person to ever steal my heart! I don't ever want it back. She's my Babe, and I'm her Auntie A / Aunt White Chocolate!

 

 

She's the GREATEST thing in the world!!! Love my, Babe!

 

 

Missing a few things

    I love that I get to spend time with my family here in the Metroplex; I adore my neice, and I get to be involved with my {relitively new} brother-in-law and my talented sister, but it's hard not being in Wichita Falls anymore. I miss the people, I miss feeling like I knew what I was doing with my life. And surprisingly enough, it's really hard to watch people go on about their lives and know that I'm not apart of that anymore.
    For the first time in my life I had friends. Four years quickly flew by and I'm sitting on the side lines again. I hope everyone is doing well. Just know that you made and continue to make an impact on people's lives. That's somthing that not all churches can accomplish. Love you all.

Everything is BIG in Texas, Except Our Education!

My first years as a college student I was an education major. I loved the classes, the professors were encouraging, inspiring and real. I could just imagine my future as an educator, until one day my dreams came tumbling down. I saw how corrupt our education system has become. The day I realized that educated was about teachers making high rank in the passing of TAKS rather than the accomplishment of our students, I quickly decided that if my job was no longer about the kids, I was not going to teach a manual instead of an education.
As stated by Forbes contributor, Erica swallow, America's "lackluster education system" is showing to be more true each year. Hearing that teachers have to tip-toe around students and parents so that they are not offended, is ridiculous. While in college I was told that even if a students fails a test or homework paper, we are only allowed to give students the lowest grade of a 70. As I a teacher, if I give a students a 70, it is because they earned a 70. If we teach students that they don't have to try and still pass, what motivates them to do well on anything? Just as the old proverb says, "give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he will eat for the rest of his life. " Why can we not have an education system where we teach our children responsibility? The longer we- as a society- put if off, the harder it will be to change what we have instilled - laziness.
The sad prospect of Texas education is that all of the districts are concerned with money instead of the kids education. The only ones who suffer are the students and eventually the economy. Right now we are raising and teaching students the mediocrity is ok. I can only hope that the next graduating class is not the future of McDonald's serving as complacent cashiers and hamburger flippers. That's not a bad thing, it's really not, but not having a desire to be more than that is.