It's a new day!

My family is full of life, fun and love, but my family is also on the thicker side of life. We often joke about being Pentecostal and what we do best is eat, and although that might be true, we were not given license to over eat and guide ourselves to an unhealthy standard of living. I have 13 cousins and my sister, making 15 grandchildren all together including me; ever since I can remember I have always been the fat one. I have felt an inferiority, well, all of my life and I think it's time to allow myself to become an equal. I am now 26 years old and I have no excuses for myself. There is no circumstance or situation to blame for my weight, except my own self. I allowed myself to get larger and larger and now it's time to put that to a rest. I am miserable. My attitude sucks, I can't stand mirrors and I have panic attacks when cameras or phones come out. Reality for a lot of people is that they have a few pounds to lose, my reality is that I have a few more than them.

I am a determined person. I graduated college and started a career, both of which took time and perseverance, but I'm not sure than I can do this on my own. I am asking that if you love me, you will stand behind me as I venture out to become a healthier version of me. I am not beautiful, nor do I expect that to change, but I do need to find a way to love myself. My father has always told me it's not the number that matters, it's how the clothing fits. So I will not set a goal of pounds nor will I set a certain size that is unrealistic for me to reach, after all, I wouldn't be able to help my dad rebuild houses if I'm too light, but I will strive for a leaner, healthier version of me.

Anyone that knows me, knows that I am never having children, but when it really comes down to it one day I do want a family (but, shh, don't tell my mother that I said that). As nature would have it, you kinda have to attract the opposite sex in order to start a family. I've not successful I the slightest with what I've been doing, so why not change what doesn't work. If I don't like myself, how can I love myself or expect someone else to love me.

I plan on doing this right. Working out, eating healthier (just for the record, I'm not going cold turkey on Chipotle, but moderation is a good start), and lots of water. Encouragement is appreciated and love is welcome. Anyone that wants to join me, you are more than invited, in fact I encourage you to do the same, even if you don't have weight to lose. Maybe just getting healthy is motivation enough for you.

I'm ready to find a better version of Amy Renee Parker. Someone that people have never met, but all enjoy being around (even me).