Many kinds of love

     I love to laugh more than anything in the world! There's no greater feeling in world than the rush of dopamine surging through your brain sending signals to your entire body to be happy. Although the bible refers to laughter in a generally scornful manner, there is a small section that speaks about a season for everything and my favorite verse says that there is, "a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance" (Ecclesiastes 3:4). It's not a thought provoking scripture, but it gets right down to the point. Life becomes so murky that we don't make time to feel. All four of these verbs are so emotionally rich that if not taken care of can destroy us.
   How many times have you felt like a good cry would make everything better? Or when that stupid happy dance allows us to express that spark of excitement. And while mourning is typically a consequence of loss, is a way to remember; whether you make it a sorrowful mourn or an enlightening one, that is up to you, but from personal experience, laughter is always the constant in all of those. When we cry those that love us say something so stifle the tears. I have a habit of saying the wrong things that makes any situation awkward, ensuring laughter because no one knows what to think at that point. Do I feel like an idiot? More than you would think, but laughter is where my heart lies and however I have to get there, so-be-it.
     The thing I love most, after laughter, is my niece, Hannah! I only put laughter in the forefront because to know Hannah is to know laughter. She is the funniest kid, ever. Only at 17 months old, the kid has a natural ability to take an audience captive and make them laugh. I adore everything about her.  She encompasses everything thing that both Jen and Ryan possess. Now, if only I can find a way of stealing her. Is it weird to say that I want to be like her when I grow up? She lights up any room she walks in to, from her beautiful smile to her wonderful laugh, to her glowing blue eyes. There is such a kindred heart in her that as she grows older I can only hope becomes a beacon of happiness to others. God has great plans for her, I can feel it in my bones.
     My third and final love is singing and music. When I am laid to rest I hope the one thing people remember about me is that I love to sing. I can't carry a tune, nor do I have a pretty voice, but when it comes to giving God my all, singing is what I
do best. I have heard, and I, too, believe this, to an extent, that church shouldn't rely on music. Music is not what makes a church service great, but I do believe that music ushers in the presence of God. The bible references the use of music, therefore I don't believe in giving God my little, I want to give Him my all. What I love most about music is the passion and dedication involved. You don't expect for music to just happen, you have to work at it. Practice, practice and practice some more even when you think it's great.
   

My heart was stolen and I DON'T want it back!

     I'm feeling a little uncharacteristically blue today so I thought I'd {try to} write something more on the light-hearted side.

     This is the story about how my heart was stolen. As many people know, for a while now I have claimed that I am not terribly interested in marriage {not for a while anyway}, nor does the sound of little feet interest me. In fact, the thought of those individually scare me to death, and the thought of them together- oh, no! That's just terrifying! I would make an acceptable mother {depending on the day}, and a fantastic wife, but Lord knows I am not ready to give up my freedom, yet!!!

     Once upon a time a boy and a girl got married. They were good together. They balanced one another and made each other whole. {Oh, look how sweet...}

 

They sealed the deal with a kiss,

 

 

  and life began from here!

 

Now, not too far into their marital bliss a miraculous event took place and Jen went form this:

 

 

to this:

 

 

to this

 

!!!

 

For nine long months Jen baked a baby. She grew and she grew, but she wasn't sure what kind of baby she was making. Jen and Ryan, being the meanies they are decided not to find out if they would be having a he or a she. I had my bets placed on either an alien, or twins {Thinking of it now, I should have placed money on an alien!}.

 

 On April 18, 2012, I woke up and knew that Jen would be having the baby soon. My Dad called the night before and said Jen would be going into the hospital but it didn't look like she would have IT until later the next day. I went to bed so EXCITED!!!I knew my car needed an oil change and my apartment needed to be cleaned, so I took my sweet time and cleaned the place. I, too, was covered in dust, so I took a shower and finished dressing when I received a call around noon. "Hey, Jen's at a 2, don't get in a hurry, it'll be a while."

So, in my lack of haste I finished packing my clothes, and ventured to Wal-Mart (I should have know it would take forever). After 10 minutes of being there I get a call saying, "Well, she's progressed a little faster than expected get here when you can, we just want you to be aware." OK, not a big deal. I can get there fairly quick.I should say, if I had my way I could get their fairly quick, but I was on Wal-Mart time. Apparently it needed to take an hour and a half to get in and out of there. It is now two-o'clock in the afternoon and I have yet to leave Wichita Falls, Texas. It's a two-hour drive to Rhome, a three-hour drive to Fort Worth, with some traffic.

 

At this point, I'm running with recklessness to get anywhere. I/m outside of Jolly and Dad calls to say, "Jen is at a 5, you need to hurry up". Recklessness has just become some sort of power boost and I suddenly become invincible. I'm aware of my speed, at which I'm going somewhere around 72-77 mph, and we'll leave it at that. The speed limit is 70 and just as I approach Bellevue, Sir Cops-A-Lot decides he was going to do his job. A state trooper thought I was going above the desired speed and asks for my license and insurance. I know I have my license and I look for my insurance and low and behold I needed an updated card. At this point I'm frazzled and scared and he asks what the problem is. I tell him that my sister has just been admitted to the hospital and I needed to get to Ft. Worth as fast as I could. So he preceded to ask where is she at and what is her name.

I then tell him, "she's at Harris hospital and her name is Jennifer Parker".

 He leaves and then it hits me, no she's not and that's not her name! She was at the neighboring hospital and her name is now Jennifer Ray. I'm panicking!

"Well, ma'am, you're in luck because I suddenly have no tower here and I can't call out. I normally call the hospital and just check to verify your situation but I couldn't today. Slow down and be careful. I hope your sister and the baby are fine, we don't need both of you in the hospital."

WHEW! I slid past that one. Thank you Jesus! At that point I set my speedometer at 70 and decide if that baby is born before I get there, that's fine!

Six o'clock comes around and I pull into the parking garage. I race to Labor and Delivery just to find out that she's still at a 5! OK, no big deal. I was there for a couple of hours and things finally happen, we have a BABY!!! We hear crying, from all involved, but have not heard if i was to be an aunt or an uncle.

 

As we were waiting this is what ws going on outside of the delivery:

 

 

Finally we hear laughter. Ryan came out of the delivery room:

 

 

and informed us we had a baby GIRL!!!

 

 

HANNAH PARKER RAY

 

I was given the best gift in the world, and her name was Hannah Parker Ray. I'm glad she was a girl because I would have made a terrible uncle. This is the first person to ever steal my heart! I don't ever want it back. She's my Babe, and I'm her Auntie A / Aunt White Chocolate!

 

 

She's the GREATEST thing in the world!!! Love my, Babe!

 

 

Missing a few things

    I love that I get to spend time with my family here in the Metroplex; I adore my neice, and I get to be involved with my {relitively new} brother-in-law and my talented sister, but it's hard not being in Wichita Falls anymore. I miss the people, I miss feeling like I knew what I was doing with my life. And surprisingly enough, it's really hard to watch people go on about their lives and know that I'm not apart of that anymore.
    For the first time in my life I had friends. Four years quickly flew by and I'm sitting on the side lines again. I hope everyone is doing well. Just know that you made and continue to make an impact on people's lives. That's somthing that not all churches can accomplish. Love you all.

Everything is BIG in Texas, Except Our Education!

My first years as a college student I was an education major. I loved the classes, the professors were encouraging, inspiring and real. I could just imagine my future as an educator, until one day my dreams came tumbling down. I saw how corrupt our education system has become. The day I realized that educated was about teachers making high rank in the passing of TAKS rather than the accomplishment of our students, I quickly decided that if my job was no longer about the kids, I was not going to teach a manual instead of an education.
As stated by Forbes contributor, Erica swallow, America's "lackluster education system" is showing to be more true each year. Hearing that teachers have to tip-toe around students and parents so that they are not offended, is ridiculous. While in college I was told that even if a students fails a test or homework paper, we are only allowed to give students the lowest grade of a 70. As I a teacher, if I give a students a 70, it is because they earned a 70. If we teach students that they don't have to try and still pass, what motivates them to do well on anything? Just as the old proverb says, "give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he will eat for the rest of his life. " Why can we not have an education system where we teach our children responsibility? The longer we- as a society- put if off, the harder it will be to change what we have instilled - laziness.
The sad prospect of Texas education is that all of the districts are concerned with money instead of the kids education. The only ones who suffer are the students and eventually the economy. Right now we are raising and teaching students the mediocrity is ok. I can only hope that the next graduating class is not the future of McDonald's serving as complacent cashiers and hamburger flippers. That's not a bad thing, it's really not, but not having a desire to be more than that is.

What's next?

    
Well, 3 weeks have passed since I graduated college. I am proud of all that I have accomplished, and have a desire to continue on accomplishing more, but as of now I sit in an oversized chair doing nothing. The air-conditioner reminds me that the next time I leave the house I will have to battle the heat and even less exciting, I know that I will have to battle the bees and wasps.

Recently I have come to a realization that I have an irrational fear of bees, considering that I have never been stung out of aggression, it was by change that I stepped on one when I was 7years old. These things are, let’s suppose, half an inch to an inch in size and less than 1/300 of an oz., but they conjure up such an enormous amount of fear! The buzz alone makes me jumpy. My family has harassed me about that over the past few weeks, but one day I'll get them back. Revenge is better served cold - and in Mom's case, in the form of a scorpion!!

I have enjoyed being home, but I also miss the life I used to live. The friends, the family, and the freedom to leave my house and be at the mall in less than 3 minutes have all been left behind in a wonderful place known as Wichita Falls, Texas. I never thought I could miss anyone as much as I do.  My church, Life Tabernacle, became my family, a gesture I never expected, but something I value and treasure most of all!! Thank you to all who were there for me though the longest, but most enjoyable 4 years of my life. You all taught me how to love unconditionally, seek God's will and live happily.

For now I will continue to search for a job and seek God's face. There's really nothing more for me to do. Until next time...


-Amy

The impact we have!

Yesturday at work I had to deal with a lot of bullying. Each time I heard one kid say to another, "you're stupid", or call names, I was reminded of a girl who teased me when I was younger. As an adult, the 5 year old in me is still terrified of being made fun of, so when I heard this I automatically defended who ever was being teased, whether they started it or not. There was not going to be that type of treatment on my watch.
We finally sat down for snack at about 3:30 pm; I was sitting at the end of the table talking to some of the kids as I ate my Triple Berry Trix nyogurt, which I found to be pleasantly good, when I heard a child sitting directly to my right call another child an awful name. The two adults I had been working with had been sitting at the table next to us. I'm not sure if they didn't hear or if they didnt know how to handle the situation, but I had had it! I finally looked at my female coworker and asked her as loudly as possible how she felt about bullying. Her reply was, " I think it's awful and we've had a lot of it today". She was a bit stunned in my abrupt asking, but quickly took on the role of helping me in my attempt to stop what had been going on all day.
It wasn't long before I had all 20 of their attention, and I said, "enough is enough!". I found a definition of bullying and read it aloud to the entire group, then asked if anyone felt if they had been treated in that manner. All but a few hands went up and I decided then and there that if I was going to get these kids to understand the impact they have on one another, that I was going to have to be real with them.
Earlier in the day they weren't listening, so they owed me 7 minutes of their time, and I felt this would be a great time to talk to them about what an impact one person could make. I set my timer for 7 min and told them not to say a word as I spoke. I began with a story of a girl named Christina. She made fun of me for nine years. From kindergarten to the day I left Haltome City in the eighth grade, I was the object of this girls' bullying. I told them everything that happened as she made fun of me and told me that no body liked me. I told the "cafeteria monitor", an old biddy that didn't care. I told them that as a five year old I should have never been told that I wasn't worth anything, and because no body cared, I was told that for nine years. That kind of impact reeks havoc on anybody, and that 20 years later I still have a hard time looking in the mirror believing that I'm worth more than nothing.
Every child in that room was silent and I could see that I had their attention. Chrissy, my coworker spoke up and told a similar story; that she had been the victim of bullying, but then became a bully herself. I felt like the kids understood what we were talking about, but hadn't yet really felt what I was trying to say. I felt it more important to show them that it doesn't matter how old you are, bullying never stops hurting.
It was silent. All eyes were on me and I told them that within the past three or four months, I have had two, count them, TWO "friends" tell me that I am "nobody" and that what I say has no value to them. Tears blurred my vision and my voice crackled with hurt. With my head bent, ashamed of having to say this, I put my pride to the side and told them that people I call friends don't care about me enough to listen to what I have to say or consider me more than just a nobody. I looked up and saw tears in their eyes. Some more than others, but I finally knew they understood what I had been trying to tell them. That it doesn't matter if you're ten or if you're twenty-four, people just want to be loved and cared for, not put down or dismissed, no matter their situation. As soon as I finished the timer went off. It was quite perfect, actually.
Quickly I had to change the subject, I was telling a bunch of nine thru twelve year olds more than I had told adults. I told them their trash needed to go in the trash can and we
needed to clean the cafeteria. They all stood from their seats and I started to fold one of the tables when the child who had been sitting on my right earlier calling names came up to me and asked where William was. I told him and continued with what I was doing. About a minute later I saw Logan talking to William with tears rolling down his bloodshot face. I knew then that being honest with these kids and showing them what happens to people who are treated badly was worth it. Maybe I made a difference for an hour, but maybe I spoke to someone's heart. I guess time will only tell.

God still works miracles!

As I close my college career, with respect that my audit goes as planned, I have had some trouble making sure that all is well with my degee plan to insure that I can graduate. Back in my community college days I took a sophomore level psych class in which does not count as an upperlevel class here at at MSU. Because I could not get the Chair of Psychology to sign off on my course subsitituton for the same class, I needed to enroll in a new class for undergrads called Clinical Psychology. Clinical Psychology is a 4000 level class which means it requires more tedious prerequisites like, General Psych, Human Behavior and Abnormal Psychology. Fantastic, I had 2/3, but I had not taken Abnormal. I was very concerned about not having all three prereq's. During the process of obtaining all of the signatures I needed, I walked around campus for 2.5 hours searching for the right people, only to find out that I needed to find "so and so" in building A across campus, 4 doors from where I originally started. I knew that everything was going way too smoothly; Something had to go wrong. I walked across campus only to find that the people I needed signatures from had just left for lunch and would not be back for another 45 minutes. I was almost in tears. All I needed was to get into this class, otherwise I would still need another psych class to complete my minor and Tim was quickly running out!
I was frustrated beyond belief. I thought some retail therapy would truly help me relax and find some structure to the chaos I was living.Around 1:15pm I headed back to the MSU Psychology department. I notice the secretary was still not in, oh but wait, the Chair's office is open and there's people in there! With the knowledge that I did not have Abornal Psychology, I wad very nervous that this Professor and Chair was not going to allow me to enroll. I desperately needed this class to graduate. Nervously I walked toward the laughter coming from the office, and saw an office full of professorsand grad students. They excused themselves so that I could speak with the Chair. He was shocked that I wanted into this class, at the time when they opened the class they expected very low enrollment. He took my add/drop submission form, signed his name and just below that wrote, "ok if no prereq's."
I was in shock! I had not mentioned that I didn't have Abnormal. How did he know?! This was a sign from God letting me know that he has my life in His hands. No matter what I need, He will supply. Going into this semester I was scared, but now that I know God is with me, standing by mt side, I can make my ( potentially) last semester the best semester ever! I won't say I'm am a graduating senior just yet, but I will say that I can see the light from a very long and dark tunnel! Thank you God for reminding me of who you are and what you can do!